Changed.

Holy crap. I just recently rediscovered my blog and thought I might give an update, if anybody actually reads this at all, as I have long since resigned myself to the fact that I hardly get any readers. Anyways, the time has come where I am now approaching my sophomore year in high school! Freshman year passed in a quick blur and even now, a few months later, I am still wondering what exactly happened during that awkward and strange time period in my life. In a nutshell, I was basically one of those girls who cannot for the life of them shut up about boys.

A few key points stand out, however, like the time when I was nominated Freshman Homecoming Attendant (boy, was my dad proud) and another time when I completely embarassed myself in the lunchroom when I tripped over a chair and fell flat on my face. I also remember struggling to understand my Geometry homework, which I swear the Devil himself created, while juggling Pom practice, trying to understand French, dragging myself out of bed and to seminary every morning, having some boy problems, keeping up with the reading required for my Honors English class, and all the while just struggling in a spiritual sense. Sure, I went to church and still loved Young Womens, I made it to seminary most of the time and gave decent devotionals, and I read the New Era occasionally. But I didn't really read from the scriptures that much, and by the middle of the school year, prayer was something like an ancient art to me. My friends started to get caught up in popularity, and as a result, I did too.

Now really, its not like I made any major mistakes or anything, but I wasn't close to the Savior, or Heavenly Father. My testimony wasn't nearly as strong as it was before, and the sad thing was that I almost didn't care. Looking back, I realize now how much I really struggled to find my testimony underneath all the junk that had begun to accumulate in my life. Luckily, around Easter, I recieved a wake up call, if you will, and was challenged along with the other Young Women in my ward to read the Book of Mormon all the way through before Girl's Camp. I have no idea why, but when I got home from church that afternoon, I went straight to my room and read the very first chapter in 1 Nephi. After that, I began to make a little bit more of effort to read from the Book of Mormon each night before I went to bed, no matter how exhausted I was. Eventually, by the end of the school year, I had made it to Mosiah and scripture study became a habit for me.

When school got out, the pressure of popularity was suddenly lifted from my shoulders and I was able to focus on the one thing that desperately needed my attention: my testimony. So when I made a summer bucket list, as all teenage girls seem to do nowdays, the very first thing I wrote was "Become closer to Heavenly Father", and everything else fell underneath that. Now, it is the end of the summer, and I am left to evaluate my progress and ask myself if I accomplished what I set out to do. Truthfully, I think that I did. Over the past two or so months, I have been able to dedicate all my time and effort into that goal to develop a relationship with my Heavenly Father, and through sincere prayer, scripture study, and a desire to keep his commandments, I feel closer to him. Of course, Girls Camp and Youth Conference helped me tremendously and I was able to learn a lot from those two experiences. Personal Progress was also a contributing factor and as I worked on the Value Experiences, I developed a few new habits that have strenghthened my faith in Jesus Christ. I am now happy to report that I have completed three Values over the summer, and am so close to finishing a fourth!

I am so grateful for this summer. It has given me the opportunity to learn some important lessons I am positive that I will never forget! Among these are first, the true and firm knowledge that God loves not only me, but everyone, and that he has his own perfect plan for each and every one of us. I have felt his love for me on several occasions this summer, and each experience is one I am not likely to forget. Second, I've learned that it's important to serve others and look outside yourself, which will help you to draw near unto Heavenly Father. Last, I've learned that the Atonement is real, and that Christ not only died for us on the cross, but that he also suffered for all our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane. I also know that he has experienced every pain or trial that I ever will, and that he has truly walked with me throughout my entire life. These things are far more important than popularity or wordly possesions. I wouldn't trade the knowledge I have now for the world!

So now, you can see what I mean when I say that I have changed so much since the end of my freshman year. As I continue on this school year, I hope that I can remember these things and continue to strengthen my testimony and stay close to Heavenly Father. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me, who I will meet, and what I will learn.